Le Chocolat et La Vie

Chocolate.  I am working at The Cocoa Tree in Nashville, and life is delicious.  People love to romanticize the idea of chocolate.  When I tell friends that I am working at an artisan chocolate shop, they seem to think that it's some exquisitely enjoyable job.  I say to that, "well, yes it is."  I love to see people pick up a piece of chocolate or confection and exclaim with delight how right the flavor is.

Every day, I get to embark on a new culinary adventure, inciting my own palate to discover new tastes and engaging my creativity, which I so often neglect.  I never thought too much about how directly food affects and is affected by culture.  I have recently found myself indulging in the history, language and life of what we put in our mouths.  For me, it's not about knowledge so much as it is about the experience of food.  Food is art, it is life, it is culture.  My little job doesn't seem so small when I think of it this way.  Everyday, I get to be a part of someone's joy. 

When I lived in France, I finally understood why the French take food so seriously.  I was in Lyon, eating a traditional French meal with all of the courses and wine.  I don't know how well I can explain it, but I was so completely satisfied.  I realized that the timing, temperature, accents and mood of the entire meal were created with care and precision.  French restaurant owners care about their product and the people they are serving, never neglecting the experience as a whole.  The meal is not rushed, but drawn out.  The attention to detail produces a masterpiece, with the right wine and the right cheese, the right meat with the right vegetable. 

This satisfaction found in a five course meal or a tiny truffle, engages our senses much like the other pleasures in life.  I am drawn to the Maker when I participate in these pleasures.  If we can create goodness with our hands for others and ourselves to enjoy, maybe we can make that same goodness in our hearts.  God is near when I delight in His world as He intended.  And I am convinced that He intended us to make beauty; to make chocolate and cook filet mignon and to eat it and enjoy Him and others through it all. 

A Natural Kind of Love

"Oh there's somethin' pure and simple about those stars above
And it'll be the same for me
If I can find that natural kind of love"

Peace of Mind, Mindy Smith

I need peace of mind
and a hopeful heart
to lose this rage
and move out of the dark
I ain't looking for rainbows
or shooting stars
just some peace of mind
and a hopeful heart

I need a peace of mind
and a lullaby
cause theres an angry voice
in my head tonight
tellin' me to do things
that can't be right
I need peace of mind
and a lullaby

and a miracle
for this broken soul
a little miracle
for this broken soul

I need peace of mind
and gentle hand
as I try to change
the way I am
and God forgives me
when I can't
I need peace of mind
and a gentle hand

or a miracle
for this broken soul
a little miracle
for this broken soul

I need peace of mind
and a hopeful heart

What You Want, Baby I Got It

Here's the deal friends.  I want you all to try cupcakes by two sisters.  Those sisters being Emily and I.
I simply cannot consume all of this butter and sugar on my own!  I'm afraid that I prefer a pastime of reading Harry Potter or something of the like as opposed to strenuous exercise, so I have to find a way to give these delights a new palate to please.  A proper debut would be all of you! I will post a list of treats and you let me know if you want to sample.  I need good, honest "nays or yays"  so find the food critic within.  Give me a reason to perfect; and try some of our desserts!    

p.s.  And for all of you who have cut out sugar from your diet, shame on you!(Unless you are diabetic)  There's a whole, wide wonderful world of confections just waiting to be enjoyed.

A Little Family Secret

Emily made our family, sugar cookies from our Italian, great- grandma Lina.  My mom has used this recipe since I can remember for all sorts of occasions, but mainly Christmas.  We have these every year for Christmas, as they are delicious and perfect for decorating.  The dough is just as good as the cookie.  I have a hard time describing these cookies to anyone because they are not airy or intensely sweet like classic sugar cookies; they are dense and buttery.  Often mom puts an Anise icing on them which is really nice, but this time Em did a sort of egg white icing that sets beautifully.  I like them plain!  Everyone should experience these at least once in your life.

Taste a Piece of Fall

I have never been much of a pie connoisseur, but it is really quite fun making pies.  An apple pie is especially appropriate on a crisp Fall evening.  Partner it with a smooth latte and a blanket on the porch, and relish in the Autumnal bliss!

I made this pie crust with butter and shortening, creating a flaky, yet shortbread-esque crust.  Mixing pink lady apples and granny smith balanced the sugar just to perfection.  I complain when pies are too sweet to eat.  I tried out some little, Fall cookie cutters that I just couldn't resist at the store.  I just cut little leaves for the crust.  It was fun, but I don't know how well anyone can tell they are leaves.  Speaking of leaves, go kick some around and listen to them crunch...Fall is finally here!

More Cakes in a Cup

If Ms. Fitzgerald Only Knew How Good She Sounds with Pie

Classic Chocolat with Vanilla Icing
Decorated by Emma

My sister Emma and I have been enjoying the kitchen a lot lately.  We sing along with Frank, Ella and Sammy Davis while we bake.  Now that the beloved Fall has set in, baking is ten times more delightful than ever before.  I am in love with a lot things this time of year: food, drink, sitting on the porch wrapped in a blanket, book in hand.  Oh what a world this world would be if it were Autumn every day!  

So, on a more serious note, as one may have noticed, I have issues committing to one thing for very long it seems.  Prime example, my blog.  I promised to blog about my adventures every day and I have yet to see that happen.  See?  Even now, I am using the passive voice!  My life has been a bit "thrown together" lately.
I don't have much to do except wait around for something to happen.  I mean, I always have "things" I am doing; I'm never bored, but I guess I am holding out for magic.  You know, when the fairy swoops in and spreads the dust all over me and I find out what I want to do with my life.  Well, I realize I have been tragically misinformed.  Okay, maybe I misinformed myself.  This figuring out your life stuff takes work and lots of it.  So does baking.
I thought that I would never want to stop baking, at least not after the first few weeks, but it gets tiring.  I am usually great up until the part where I have to make the icing, or wash dishes or cool the cake or something.
So, I come to yet another life lesson.  I hate doing the dirty work, but it's necessary.  Everyone has to do work and lots of it in order to make things happen.  I intend then to work HARD! 

Bon Iver

This my excavation and today is kumran
Everything that happens is from now on
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed

I keep throwing it down two-hundred at a time
It's hard to find it when you knew it
When your money's gone
And you're drunk as hell

On your back with your racks as the stacks as your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks are your load
In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load

I've twisting to the sun I needed to replace
The fountain in the front yard is rusted out
All my love was down
In a frozen ground

There's a black crow sitting across from me; his wiry legs are crossed
And he's dangling my keys he even fakes a toss
Whatever could it be
That has brought me to this loss?

On your back with your racks as the stacks as your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks of your load
In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load

This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me

My monthly quote

Nothing can resist a will which will stake even existence upon its fulfillment.

- Benjamin Disraeli

Tres Leche

Tres Leche Cupcakes with Fresh Whipped Cream Cinnamon

Dessert 2: Cardamom Palmiers

     I made Cardamom Palmiers today. The cardamom was an interesting replacement for something like cinnamon or nutmeg, I suppose.  It was a good kind of interesting.  This flaky, cookie-like pastry was my first and last French pastry during my time living in France.  That's right folks, NOT a croissant, but a palmier.  I love them.

The dough was very tricky as I really wasn't supposed to touch it much.  I messed up when it came time to slice the palmiers.  I read the directions wrong about three times.  Finally, by the fourth try, I got it right.  Cut one-inch apart and then cut each inch into thirds.  Don't you think that's a roundabout way to say cut one third of an inch apart?  Anyway, the lesson for today was to walk away from the cookbook for a few minutes when you just aren't getting it. Maybe I'm just an imbecile!

Dessert 1

Twice-baked Shortbread

     This is my first recipe. I made the dough, composed mainly of butter and flour and of course, a bit of vanilla, and then just pressed it into a pan and let it set for two hours. This is the trick to shortbread. Let it sit for two hours or overnight before baking to enhance the flavor and texture that makes this simple treat so wonderful. I will be twice-baking it before I return from my awful, dreadful, no good, lab work I have to get done. I am having surgery Tuesday and I have to get my blood drawn today. I figured that if I left the baking for after I get back from this unhappy outing then I will have a reason to come back to life. You, see I HATE, no LOATHE having my blood taken. I pass out, cry, pass out again, cry a little more, well you get the point. I make a complete fool/baby out of myself and there's no fixing it. So, for the first time, I am going to be active about overcoming this fear. I will focus only on making it back home to my shortbread which will need to be stuffed into the oven promptly upon my arrival home,. So I must not throw up on the side of the road or do anymore of this nonsense. I am making shortbread! I'll let you know how it turns out.......

     Okay so, here's the shortbread.  I made it back from the doctor in one piece, despite my ghostly white skin which seemed to summon a lot of sympathy in the bank teller and the office lady at the hospital.  But, success was had today and I triumphed!  This shortbread calls the hearts of all my fellow butter lovers to mange!  I like it as a mid-afternoon treat with a cup of PG Tips tea and milk...English style!

Le Dessert et Moi!

       So after seeing the film, Julie and Julia, I started to consider my own culinary interests. I thought about how much I love baking, something like the thrill I get when the crust of a chocolate Ganache torte crumbles just right. It's the one place in my life where I get to obsess over precision and perfection and get rewarded for it. I know this is completely unoriginal now that the film is out, but I am taking Julie and Julia's example and striking out on a delicious adventure. I am going to bake my way through Alice Medrich's, Pure Dessert. I will teach myself the basics of baking and share the details with you all...whoever that may be. Like Julie, I lack the ability to finish all of the millions of projects I start. I am hoping for a lesson in creation and completion; to prove that I can be disciplined and enjoy using my hands to make something delicious and definitely to make some messes. So here we go!

Pictured: Mocha Cupcakes with Vanilla Meringue Cream

Good Song, Watch and Listen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amwVyRH2B8A

"I don't Know What I Can Save You From"

"I Don't Know What I can Save You From"
You called me after midnight,
it must have been three years since we last spoke.
I slowly tried to bring back
the image of your face from the memories so old.
I tried so hard to follow,
but didn't catch a half of what had gone wrong,
said "I don't know what I can save you from. "
I don't know what I can save you from.
I asked you to come over,
and within half an hour,
you were at my door.
I had never really known you,
but I realized that the one you were before,
had changed into somebody for whom
I wouldn't mind to put the kettle on.
Still I don't know what I can save you from.
I don't know what I can save you from.

Kings of Convenience

A Bit of Color

Gray
Gray
Where is a red
A green
Something with color
Vibrancy
Expression?
Is it lost in the shadows of something grim or tragic
or hidden beneath the hum-drum of the day's distractions?
A candle blown out before the moment is right
A cloudy night when you wanna see the stars
Shine color!
Show your light.
I want bold, unabashed beauty before my eyes
So I can know what to touch and feel
What it's like to stare in awe, almost blinded
by something so real, so unafraid to stand out
I want to see greens and reds today
No grays

What I think could potentially help me sleep better at night

“When despair for the world grows in me, and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be -- I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought or grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.”

Wendell Berry

Aslan, the kind of king I'll follow

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver…”Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

“’but you mustn’t press him, after all, he’s not a tame lion.’ ‘No, but he is good.’”


The God of the universe isn't a tame, weak god, he is a lion. I keep going back to these books my dad read to me as a little girl. Lewis picked an animal of the highest respect, power and strength. He is not safe or tame, but he is good!

I'll Never Let Go Of Your Hand

I know what you've been hearing
I've seen you hide your fear
Embarrassed by your weaknesses
Afraid to let me near
I wish you knew how much
I long for you to understand
No matter what may happen, child
I'll never let go of your hand

I know you've been forsaken
By all you've known before
When you failed their expectations
They frowned and closed the door
But even though your heart itself
Should lose the will to stand
No matter what may happen, child
I'll never let go of your hand

The life that I have given you
No one can take away
I've sealed it with my Spirit, Blood and Word
The everlasting Father
Has made His covenant with you
And He's stronger than the world you've seen and heard

So don't you fear to show them
All the love I have for you
I'll be with you everywhere
In everything you do
And even if you do it wrong
And miss the joy I've planned
I'll never, never let go of your hand

~Don Francisco

Oooh Feist!!

"Let It Die"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob1CdTLDj10&NR=1


Let it die and get out of my mind
We don't see eye to eye
Or hear ear to ear

Don't you wish that we could forget that kiss
And see this for what it is
That we're not in love

The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start

It was hard to tell just how I felt
To not recognize myself
I started to fade away

And after all it won't take long to fall in love
Now I know what I don't want
I learned that with you

The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
The tragedy starts from the very first spark
Losing your mind for the sake of your heart
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start

I dreamed of you last night
Lying next to me in green
Cheek on cold, wet blades
Beads of diamonds lining your forehead

Swift is the wind that changes minds
Fickle is the storm that turns emotion
Catch a lightning bug
You always let it go

Sing to me of your thoughts
but don't let on what you're thinking
Cuz I don't wanna know
That you would rather go

See a world where I don't exist
A place where people don't make complex
Things that aren't to begin with
Summertime all the time, livin's easy

Days in winter don't turn cold
Cuz people don't let them
Open doors, open souls
No room, no time for keeping clothed

What we know or feel
Mountains folding free, strong, bold
We could all be like that
if we wanted

Saffron moon not afraid to be
What it was created for
So we can stare in awe
I wanna stand in awe of you

You in green
Being what you were created to be

Reservations

How can I convince you it's me I don't like
And not be so indifferent to the look in your eyes
When I've always been distant
And I've always told lies for love

I'm bound by these choices so hard to make
I'm bound by the feeling so easy to fake
None of this is real enough to take me from you

Oh I've got reservations
About so many things
But not about you

I know this isn't what you were wanting me to say
How can I get closer and be further away
From the truth that proves it's beautiful to lie

I've got reservations
About so many things
But not about you
I've reservations
About so many things
But not about you
Not about you
Not about you
Not about you
It's not about you

Wilco

Natural Light, Naturally Disgusting

Why do people like eating and drinking stuff that tastes disgusting? You know like cheetos or watered-down beer. It's beyond me to understand.

"The Way of Ignorance"

"There are several kinds of ignorance that are not inherent in our nature but come instead from weaknesses of character. Paramount among these is the willful ignorance that refuses to honor as knowledge anything not subject to empirical proof. We could just as well call it materialist ignorance. This ignorance rejects useful knowledge such as traditions of imagination and religion, and so it comes across as narrow-mindedness. We have the materialist culture that afflicts us now because a world exclusively material is the kind of world most readily used and abused by the kind of mind the materialists think they have. To this kind of mind, there is no longer a legitimate wonder. Wonder has been replaced by a research agenda, which is still a world away from demonstrating the impropriety of wonder. The materialist conservationists need to tell us how a materialist culture can justify its contempt and destructiveness of material goods."
~Wendell Berry

And so after reading this, I conclude my wondering about what I know and don't know. I resign myself to being daily overwhelmed by the wonder and mystery that surrounds me; and the ginormous(for lack of a better word) amount of stuff that I will never figure out or get to experience. Berry says at the end, "of course, the way of ignorance is the way of faith". Everything in life deserves wonder, and so I will have faith that this is enough to know and be a part of. He says to accept the "wisdom of humility". This is a novel idea for me, but I see the freedom and brilliancy in this approach to life and knowledge of things.

Tonight I Met the Light

Tonight I met the light
Unrelenting, persistent did it burn
It's brilliance flushed crimson my pallid face
Suffusing virility into a barren labyrinth
Blazing through the succulent twilight
Conceiving essence, force, potency amidst sterility

Tonight I met the light
It's warmth dancing on a head of curls
Sweet, honeyed phosphorescence
Twinkling in a pair of virginal eyes
A sailing kite, string held fast in that little hand
With a will to set free when the time is right

Tonight I met the light
Purging the midnight of its blackness
Illumined crescent dripping Grace from its hem
Every scar immersed in the deluge
Transposing markings on a page into a chorus
Soul unleashed to live but fettered to love

Dylan Just Makes It Make Sense

Like A Rolling Stone

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you?
People'd call, say, "Beware doll, you're bound to fall"
You thought they were all kiddin' you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin' out
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You've gone to the finest school all right, Miss Lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out you're gonna have to get used to it
You said you'd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
He's not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it ain't no good
You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat
Ain't it hard when you discover that
He really wasn't where it's at
After he took from you everything he could steal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
They're drinkin', thinkin' that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But you'd better lift your diamond ring, you'd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you can't refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

The Artist, brush in hand painting His strokes
Vibrant and fluid

A perfect watercolor, a Monet
Each whist of the hand bringing forth life and light
The detail, exquisite but with a purpose beyond its parts
The night clouds suffocate, inviting confusion and chaos
This night is crisp as Autumn, grand strokes, impasto-like
Lungs fill with breath for the first time
A life once dead, now rhythmically sketched into the Masterpiece
Color in every crack of the canvas, the sky slick as oil
The Artist ravishing her soul with pure pigment, rich and penetrating
The Creator joining the meaning of her life to His craft

A piece inspired by a piece

Runnin' from what's chasin' me
Hopin' to appear as a phantom to what's real, what's right
Disappearin' from those I know and don't
No promises just lies
the same ones been chasin' me for a while
Thought I killed em but I just got around em
Looks like the bramble finally got a hold
pullin' me down
no more runnin'
just crawlin', eatin' dirt
like runnin' through molasses
a field of flowers whose petals are broken glass
tearin' me apart

Propriety

I would like to be perceived in this way:

"Instead of being restrained by a sense of propriety, it is a sense of propriety which inspires my actions"
Marie de Lafayette
Princesse de Cleves

"Murder in the City"

The Avett Brothers

If I get murdered in the city
Don’t go revengin in my name
One person dead from such is plenty
No need to go get locked away

When I leave your arms
The things that I think of
No need to get over ??
I’m comin home

I wonder which brother is better
Which one our parents love the most
I sure did get in lots of trouble
They said to let the other go

A tear fell from my father’s eyes
I wondered what my dad would say
He said I love you
And I’m proud of you both, in so many different ways

If I get murdered in the city
Go read the letter in my desk
Don’t worry with all my belongings
But pay attention to the list

Make sure my sister knows I loved her
Make sure my mother knows the same
Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing
Like the love that let us share our name
Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing
Like the love that let us share our name

Le Style

I love Gwyneth Paltrow's chic outfit in this photo. These colors are timeless and flattering. I adore the riding boots with tights and the short dress. I love the simplicity, yet sheer brilliance and quality of each piece she wears. Bravo Gwyneth!
The second photo is something I love to wear. The cardigan with the little dress and belt is just the right balance of casual and sleek. ooh la la.

Clothing is a pretty essential part of my life. I know that this sounds incredibly superficial, but I mean that for me it is an expression of how I feel. I absolutely believe that clothing is art. It takes me just about as much time to put on an outfit like this as it does a pair of jeans and T-shirt, but you just have to get good at it. I like to see how other people dress as well. The colors, cuts, and small intricacies on people's clothes are exhilarating. Again, detail captures my attention and so clothes, like food, are yet another example of the creative process from something simple to something distinguished, a thing of beauty.

Le Style

La Cuisine

Training the palate is a very difficult thing to do in America where even our bread form the grocery is chocked full of sugar and preservatives. Since we were kids, most of us have been eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Oreos and chips; and I am not so sure that we have grown out of these cravings. The key to obtaining a "refined" palate is not so much about eating expensive meals or going completely organic, whatever that means, it is about the ability to desire things that taste good in their simplest form. Working from that form and creating deliciousness without adding too much to the fundamental ingredient. The so-called art of cooking emerges from this idea that one can take something like a goose liver and make Fois Gras. Chocolate loses its rich, distinct flavor as more milk and sugar are added to it. Milk chocolate tastes good because we have trained our palate to enjoy the sugar and not what is hidden beneath the mounds of granules: the cacao bean. The beauty in a piece of 70-85% dark chocolate is the subtlety of flavors. The robust cacao zings the taste buds with its sharpness, then finishes with a smooth, delicate sweetness that lingers in the mouth, balancing perfectly the different notes like a melody with a good harmony. The harmony, in this case the sugar, must be subtle in order to enhance the performance. The variation in flavor is crucial just like in a good wine, producing a flavor that intrigues yet satisfies. The chocolate tells a story. A good way to check if something is truly good is if you can describe out loud the flavor.

Just as important as the food telling a story in your mouth is the process of preparation. We can fully enjoy the food when we are a part of the process. Whether it be growing the ingredients, preparing the actual meal or just partaking in the result. The complete joy derives from being a part of all three, but we can't expect always to get to do this.

http://www.revver.com/video/392085/compliments-of-the-farmer-local-cuisine-at-blue-hill-restaurant-in-manhattan/

New Romantic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNxar07_9YA
Yes.

Lyrics

I know I said I love you but I'm thinking I was wrong,
I'm the first to admit that I'm still pretty young,
And I never meant to hurt you when I wrote you ten love songs.

That guy that I could never get, 'cause his girlfriend was pretty fit,
And everyone who knew her loved her so.
And I made you leave her for me and now I'm feeling pretty mean,
But my mind has f***** me over more times than any man could ever know.

Maybe I should give up, give in,
Give up trying to be thin,
Give up and turn into my mother,
God knows I love her.

And I'm sorry to whichever man should meet my sorry state,
Watch my sturdy, lonesome gate and beware,
I will never love a man 'cause love and pain go hand in hand,
And I can't do it,
Again.

So we stayed up late one night to try and get our problems right,
But I couldn't get into his head just what was going through my mind.
And I think he knew where I was going 'cause he put Ryan Adams on,
'cause I think he thinks it makes me weak, but it only ever makes me strong.

I've got this friend who sounds just like him,
Now he's the man I leave you for, the man that I just adore,
Like you.
The same man, he turns to me, he said "I've got to tell you how I feel,
If God could make the perfect girl, for me it would be you,
And my God told me not to tell about how much do you love your fella?"
I don't know more everyday,
Not in this new romantic way.

I'll always be your first love,
You'll always be my first love.

And I'm sorry to whichever man should meet my sorry state,
Watch my sturdy, lonesome gate and beware,
That I will never love a man 'cause I could never hurt a man in this way.
I will never love a man 'cause I could never hurt a man,
Not in this new romantic way.

I am alive. I am working on a few pieces that I want to post soon. School - "a quick succession of busy nothings", life - a joyous concert of all those seemingly busy nothings that somehow impress an overwhelming sense of meaning on my small life. "In His presence is fullness of joy"...this is what I know and feel this week.